MY HERO TODAY:
Meet an actual "Seattleite" who goes out in the snow (OMG, really??? Not in this weather!!)
My
dad came to my rescue! No gauze, one or two telfa pads, no decent food
in months; and he is not only taking care of filing my taxes for 2010
that I thought said $900 for some consulting work, but it didn't. So,
he's taking care of that. He saw me--looking damned fucking pitiful,
watched my video; I played others for him, and he realized--maybe a
visual thing--that though he can't always be here, he can help out maybe half a day so my home isn't such a hovel.
- 2 boxes of gauze rolls
- 2 boxes of telfa
- Fast food--get this: he asked what kinds of things don't make me sick before just bringing it.
- Didn't judge my pharmacopea of meds for now
- deposited my check.....
- provided a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't get up and help.
MY DAD IS MY HERO:
SEMPER PARATUS = ALWAYS READY
We
weren't rightly ready for RSD, I guess, or the bells and whistles it
comes with. But finally when he said he would help me get back up to
where I need to be--to get back in the pool, that being I guess my long
term goal, he showed up today. And it hasn't happened in a long fucking time; and it felt good.
He
straightened up the kitchen; and the tasks in the mountains ahead feel
like there Mount Vesivius before she blew; and save getting buried
alive--if the hole in my foot can close up, I can handle my muscle
spasms--I think we're maybe seeing something good in the distance.
And
no--he won't always be around. Busy sometimes, and every child who's
got a loving relationship with a parent who is a normal human being, I
dread that day with the trepidation that I felt with the visits and
appearances of "Susan" and I think maybe I can; knowing my pain days and
the ugly RSD, hasn't scared everyone away.
Good
old Catholic and Mormon guilt--and Mom, too. But with BPD, I am
grateful for the fact my mother and her insanity now live, ironically,
in the "Sunshine State." Pretty much as geographically far away as
possible away from me.
My
sister is sick--symptoms, God forbid, sound like ALS from what I
remember of it. If it is, I damned better get in shape. She's my
sister, and though she gave me the TBI that intro'd me to Dr. J, I think
she might need me--with RSD and all. Because I will understand best.
God bless all--stay safe. Today was one of few good days in a LONG fucking time, and damn, did I need it!!!
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