RSD? Was it WHEN I got it, IF I got it-you be the judge!

I have RSD, and is it me?  Is it my life?  How much do I allow it to have?  How much do I let it take from me?

Do I give it my credit?  How much do I let it take?

 Yes, the pain can take my breath away, no matter how hard I try to keep it from doing so--no matter how hard I try,  I spend the night in the bathroom throwing up.
At what point do I draw the freaking line???  When is enough enough????  
I have problems they can not fix.
 
I can accept that....BUT it feels I am the only one.  I am to be haplessly put through scores of tests and given medications that only poison my body to "figure out why" I throw up?  I am in pain you hapless moron!!!  Ever heard of the body's "fight or flight" response?

It happens in pain too.  So undigested food festers and of course it's gonna come up.  Or it's your body's way of saying "I can't take this either."

   I have no illusions I will live forever.  I probably will be buried by my own parents and dammit, I feel no pity whatsoever for them.


I just cannot give it anymore.  On more than one occassion, it's nearly taken my life.....................................

I've had:

• PCOS-8 cysts removed surgically (7 scopes)
• Diagnostic laparoscopy for endometriosis (AT 9 SURGERIES-ABDOMINALLY)
• peritonitis/sepsis from ruptured appendix--which required a laparotomy (10)
• lap/cholecystectomy w/post-op pneumonia  (11)
• right oopherectomy due to ovarian torsion  (12)
• left oopherectomy due to ovarian torsion followed by life-threatening sepsis, abscess to the abdomen, and peritonitis (MRSA)--
• THE OOPHERECTOMY = 13 (OHHH, BAD!!!!!!)
• INCISE & DRAIN SURGERY ONE WEEK LATER = 14
• BID DRESSING CHANGES w/ 2 MORE Incise & Drain Surgeries
• Wound vac: necessatated that I have surgical (or anesthetized) three times a week for five weeks--that right there is 15 trips to the OR: but I was septic--in truth, what is it I remember:  Pain!!!
• This brings, thus far, my trips to the OR--for abdominal surgeries to a whopping 29!
• Laparoscopically assisted vaginal hysterectomy = 30.
• Adhesions that have adhesions, etc
• Chronic bowel obstructions: 2 required surgery out of a total of six; last one a partial bowel....of the 6/2 have been partial, all related to  ADHESIONS (docs try to say they are from meds!!!  Do they think I am that stupid?????  I don't go back and look)--one of these was before either of the ovary removals, but anyhow, it =32 abdominal surgeries
• osteoarthritis related to a seriously deranged ortho doc-now my joints barely move instead of dislocations and hyper-flexibility!!!
• Afterwards, one of the bowel obstructions included, separated by a month, I  first had:
• laparoscopy:
• they found ovarian remnant syndrome (didn't remove), a "grapefruit-sized" (surgeons and pathologists always talk in food)-that was removed, and I forget what else, honestly
• 1 month almost to the DAY LATER; a laparotomy (abdominal #33):
• Bowel obstruction (I don't count this in BO surgeries-read on:
• "Melon-sized (oh-both tumors were thankfully benign)" tumor
• repair of the left ureter
• Removal of the "Ovarian Remnant Syndrome"
• repair of a umbilical hernia
• 10 knee surgeries (Due to the above, weakness and various injuries)=
• 2 rebuilds
• #1 took 3 surgeries
• #2 took 2 surgeries
• Hardware Removal 1 year later
• medial meniscus tear
• lateral meniscus tear
• arthroscopy (the doctor said to do it because it "is cheaper than an MRI"-military doctor)
• "Right sided 'microfracture' technique"
• "Open Oates Procedure"(#10--I decided it was enough)
• I have had MRSA about 10 times
• Lumbar Disc Disease w/ EMG positive left leg sciatica
• Thoracic scoliosis curvature
• "messed-up neck" cuz of a hit & run.  I got hit and knocked to the ground  while crossing the street with a GREEN light, dumbass ran a RED light and took off.  All they say about my MRI from knees to neck (C3/4 to C4/5) "It's there."
• Insomnia
• I grind my teeth so every morning I do sleep--I am greeted with a headache--takes a lot of coffee to get rid of.
• Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome
• Bipolar I in remission x 1-2 yrs.

There's been other stuff-oh, 2 years ago, I had the H1N1- AND it was because I got the shot--that's how rotten my immune system is.

I have reactions to meds that "older" docs "haven't seen in 20 years" and younger ones reach for their iPod or Blackberry;

What can I say, when God was handing out bodies in heaven, I was already working as a prostitute--now look where it's gotten me, dammit!!!