Complex Regional Pain Syndrome:This is MY life, doc!: My Response Letter to RSD

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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

My Response Letter to RSD

RSD,

You an unwelcome "party guest" who won't leave, who is totally drunk off their ass, and you have been asked repeatedly to leave, yet you refuse to do so. My primary physician doesn't now you well, and you may get me thrown out, all because of you-I am so tired of feeling like I spend my life in a doctor's office for one reason or another, or the ER, the line at the pharmacy.

You take more than 50% of my income which is less than 60% of the US National Poverty Level, when I used to make six or seven times this. I am tired of my first conscious thought being pain, and my last conscious thought being pain. I am tired of not being taken seriously. In short, I am tired of YOU. Oh, and it hurts mentally when doctors think RSD is like any other form of chronic pain: give pain meds and you automatically get better when your benchmark is people who suffer at your hands DON'T get better, "even when treated with pain meds.

God, how I hate you. Every time someone loses you chalk it as a "win," you stinking jerk.

Even if it was a life on disability, I want my life back-I hate you and all the misery and pain you bring-the suffering and the sickness. The moodiness and depression, the sheer and utter exhaustion--and the frustration. That effective treatments aren't "allowed" in my state, and unlike so many, I can't AFFORD to travel and I am tired of having my diagnosis being labeled mental.

I dread opening envelopes from my doctor: especially when a miscommunication on my part may have been responsible, I fear, now with you breathing down my neck and ROTFL every time a blow shows up in my mailbox. Whether it's my labs are crappy. I won't be seen by some pain doctor...and so much has happened today, I am scared. And you are ROTFL (Rolling on the Floor Laughing).

And every heartache you cause too, I know you are ROTFL.

I didn't want you, if I could wish you away but the burning tells me you are oh, so and way too real. I will fight you every step of the way. And I will be ROTFLMFAO (Rolling On The Floor, Laughing my Fucking Ass Offl when, one day, I smear you-and use you to mop the floor with you.

I will get my health back-physical, spiritual, emotional, and that you've pushed me into a state of ill-health, mentally incompetant, as my own family believes: is BS--just as they are as cruel sometimes in their words as you are to my body--they are to my heart. I will work hard and kick your ass all over-in every way I can!!! So we really will see who wins in the long run who wins-you may have won one or two battles-but in the war, I will prevail and show all who are there that those only with ROT in themselves ARE ALWAYS LONG TIME LOSERS!!! As are those who victimize are losers who cannot recognize the ROT WITHIN, and they are hopeless causes!!!

GET OUT OF MY BODY: YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!!!