Dear the One Who Least Expected it...
You
are the sorry one, not me-I am laughing right now...
You may call me
"Really Shitty Disorder" and join support groups with others I have come
to torture, and to those who have to PAY for their own treatments, who
would spend any penny (if you hadn't spent it on ME, hahaha!), or sell
every last possession (if you haven't already or just don't have any)
you had to get rid of me, I have news for you: I am not ever leaving.
My mark has forever been left forever upon your body: your portacath
because I came passing through before you knew what I was and sought
help from some clueless doctor who wasted your veins doing labs and
maybe lab draws-if you were lucky, giving you something to temporarily relieve
your pain. I am also KNOWN as the dreaded "chronic pain" though I hate it's accuracy of "intractable pain" or "intractable chronic pain"....
and when those PCP's "give
up?" Oh, I get closer...so much closer...What will the doctor try
next? I wish him (or her) luck.
Or when the man with rats in cages whispers in his ear again and he does something else admittedly stupid
I am in your internal organs now.
Tick,
tock, tick, tock--and I sure am not your biological clock-or Father
Time? But, only I, you silly thing, will know for sure....hahaha, that
is gone too, ya sorry excuse for a person...no--that is either the clock
ticking on those long and sleepless nights when no one, not even your
"loved ones" (yeah, some loved ones, seems they can't get away from you
fast enough or far away enough), tick...tock....tick tock...oh, I am
so having the fun!
For relief you take
powerful medications, would subject yourself to experimental treatments
if you could afford to..gone is your job you said you loved, and gone a
career you worked for-I am proud of my skills as a thief.
But I know you are wavering, oh, how I know--like many before you: I want your spirit;
I won't leave without it.
Tick tock....as the medical equipment piles up in your home....IV's, TPN....tick tock, tick tock....
But I am patient, I will wait. I love the broken spirits.
You
seek companionship from others I haunt, you see that some are in it
too for themselves--oh, who to trust, who to trust; You can fight, you
can talk amongst yourselves how to beat me.
Keep talking. I am a patient listen
RSD
November 2011
March 2012
 |
| MINUS 76 POUNDS, IN 5 months |
"The Thief of good health."
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