A memo-CRPS needs to stuff it.

(copy of a note I wrote to a friend)

Hey, sup?  Says I

Certainly not I says JJ.  God, I shoulda seen that I was either already fighting RSD with all the surgeries.

But now it feels like my body is getting kicked in the headd-uh, correction, whole body, as that is what my entire body is doing... what my mind did when I suffered acutely from the bipolar: I am not moody as much any more, even with RSD, I just don't know about pain like this.  My state won't allow any form of ketamine, and I didn't bother spending $60 to  get nasal spray-however, they were happy to make an exception to plan so I could switch to a different, non-oxy medication.

Honestly, (-----), I am going for weed.  Forget pain pills, so we're keeping the small dose of PRN, and the seizure meds.  This other crap isn't helping, save to make me more physically dependant and hate them but depend as time goes  on and on-no!

I don't know how you've done this this long. I have my painful fingers and wheelchair-bound legs-yup, already: irony when what was it, 2 years ago that butthole doctor suggested that I was a dope addict, and now with RSD and the state I live in, and that I went out and failed conventional treatment and went on to spread?  Give me a break!


I am not sure why I am writing you-maybe because the online RSD pages I tried to belong to are total jokes with histrionism and narcissistic energy I have NO use for, and less so in time, further less in energy.  I just don't get why a totally and perfectly healthy person would go looking for a diagnosis of RSD.  Particularly w

I go nuts: I have fibro, and I dedicated a whole section of my own website to it, but so many folks blur the line so badly, its bad.

But, maybe I say hello because one person-idk if you even know her, I met her on Inspire, I can't remember, but even at feeling my worst when the whole RSD started-and I had a Caring Bridge page, and had to move it because her "thunderstorms of lightening and pain," every time in the Guestbook cost me a lot of friends because I didn't say anything, sorta hoping she would sorta stop.  Nope.  I moved it, changing the web address-God! Nope.  And my reaction had people I dearly love thinking

Ah, well, a grandson keeps her busy, I have heard little from her since-I do like chatting 1-1 on the phone with her, she was different there, so I guess we all have a public self and a private self.  And some of us have to do that to preserve our sanity-be it within your family, workplace, hell, between you and the whole God-forsaken world.

RSD one year:

                 JULY      2012                                                                         JULY  2011